What should i do now that will help me with my future? How should i maximize my use of time? How do i ensure that i will still remain relevant in the long run?
The Thoughts kept swirling in my head, bothering me like pesky flies. They did not seem to want to leave any time soon.
The Thoughts followed me like a constant unwanted shadow and weighing down on me. There was a constant doubt and uncertainty about the value of my time and if i was wasting it.
Are you wasting your time? It whispers gently in my ear.
Should I look for a job? Or should i study? Or should i continue to explore and allow myself to understand more of China? But am i really understanding China if I do not find work? But I did leave my job so that i could explore.
One statement from the Thoughts was more than enough to trigger a soliloquy. The Thoughts pushed me to become a hunter, jumping on any little tasks that i could do, that could make me feel like i was of value. I was working on everything but nothing.
This continued for a few months until one day, from out of nowhere, i had an epiphany.
"The greatest waste of time in our lives is internal conflict and inaction."
My self-awareness kicked in beating the Thoughts out of the game. I realized that if i was consistently being conflicted about the future and what would be best for me later in life, i am essentially not allowing myself to take any action in the present moment. With this understanding, I felt a sudden burst of inspiration and energy as the invisible chains around my heart and head was removed. I let go of societal and individual pressures and the constant nagging about the future, and spent more time with the alignment of my head and heart to gain more self-awareness and to act on the things i enjoyed.
Being present and self-aware in the moment is important. If we can unlock our self judgments and the constant need to compare and compete with others, we would be happier individuals. We do not have to worry too much about your future because we will be able to connect the dots some how when we look back in our lives. What is more important is how you decide to live in your present because the present creates the historical foundation of your future. If you do not live it well, you will only live to regret.
by Shane Yan Shiyan & Shamantha Yan Shiya